One of the “mantras” I shared with brides in my former shop, as a reminder to really pay attention during their quintessential rite-of-passage, was something like: “However you ‘be’ while planning your wedding is how you’ll ‘be’ in your marriage.” And years later when I read the expression, “how you do anything is how you do everything,” it seemed the experts agreed with me!
Use the bridal spotlight to notice ways you’re being while planning your wedding that you want to leave behind (that are not the best to deepen a loving relationship) and those ways you’re being that you want to take into your marriage (to nurture that relationship!)
Working with countless brides through the years, I urged a woman to use her time in the bridal spotlight to look inside, listen for her inner voice and be still for its message. I also encouraged her to love her body just the way it is, to ask for what she needed and don’t be afraid to make “unreasonable” requests in support of her well-being, and, if possible, find someone who is a wise listener she can talk to about anything.
The inner-process of a bridal rite-of-passage—which can be a very intuitively expansive feeling—is the perfect time to deepen relationships with family and friends while hearts are already open. It’s the perfect time to complete any withheld communications, to say the “hard stuff” with love, to heal old hurts and wounds, and especially to practice forgiveness.
Be the bride who grows into the most loving partner. Be the woman you want to become.
Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia
[This is an edited excerpt from my new book-in-progress The End of the Fairy-Tale Bride that shares about how Princess Diana used the bridal spotlight to bring her joy and pain. If you want to read more from this section called "Loving the Skin We're In," click here.]
[Top photograph: Julie Mikos]