December 29, 2010

{Tune Into Your Body}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Do you want to know a great way to let go of the tensions that build up while juggling your life during your busy wedding planning time?  Dance! Just get up and move your body...

When you have a little alone time, turn down the lights, light aromatherapy candles or burn incense, and get your kundalini energy flowing!

Play lush, sensual music that you can feel in your body. (Here's a tip to start: With your eyes open or closed, and without moving your head, look down to the right...that will get you tuned into your body...then begin moving your hips…)


Feel the music in your body? Allow yourself to let go into the kinesthetic experience of it all! Breathe in the natural fragrances of your aromatherapy candles .... and let their scents delight! Create a sensuous, moving meditation—in sweet surrender, finding the pleasure of your own company. (Other times, invite your partner to join you!)

This will relax and invigorate....refresh and stimulate! It will cook up your creative and intuitive energies....plus it's just fun. Keep the love flowing....

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

ps: Since you're enjoying this "aromatherapy, brides, and weddings" series...it will continue in the NEW YEAR! See you then....

[Photograph: Marianne Taylor, London]

December 22, 2010

{Truly Divine!}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
As you are choosing flowers for your wedding, remember that the sense of smell is considered “the most ancient and magical sense, acting as a sort of sensual medium between heaven and earth,” according to author Christopher Bamford. “A scent or perfume was thought to express the inner essence or spiritual nature of a thing.”  Therefore using fragrant flowers for your wedding is like sharing something truly divine!

Use your wedding planning time to express your inner essence. When you feel yourself getting stressed or when your “to do” list keeps getting longer, pause
  • Now take several slow, deep breaths ... easy, slowly breathe until you find your center.
  • Imagine roots from the bottoms of your feet sinking deep into the Earth, grounding you.
  • And now in every gesture and expression you offer to others, give the most generous and grateful version of you
That’s your inner essence! Don't be stingy with it...spritz everyone you meet today with something divine! A little bit of you....

Love. Listen. Let go...
...with love from Cornelia

ps: This series of "aromatherapy, brides, and weddings" continues next week...it'll be divine!

[Photography: Daniel Sheenan]

December 15, 2010

{Unpetaling Poetry}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Reading poetry can be relaxing and romantic and sensory. For your own private, quiet time: cozy in with a cup of hot tea and comfy pjs...light some aromatherapy candles and breathe deeply...and as you're feeling your body slow down and relax, read something from The Love Poems of Rumi or Gift from the Sea...and allow the words to sink deeply into your soul. Breathe that feeling in....

Sometimes invite your partner into this relaxing reverie for an intimate moment. Taking slow, deep, soothing breaths together, imagine the breath filling your heart...and when you feel your heart expanding full of love, read this poem by Juan Ramon Jimenez:

I unpetalled you, like a rose,
to see your soul,
and I didn’t see it.
But everything around
—horizons of land and seas—,
everything, out to the infinite,
was filled with a fragrance,
enormous and alive.


Enough said....

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

ps: Next Wednesday the "aromatherapy, brides, and weddings" series continues....see you there!

[Photograph: Marla Aufmuth]

December 8, 2010

{Goddess of Love}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
According to goddess legends, the rose is the flower of Venus, known as the Goddess of Love in Greek mythology. No wonder roses are a wedding favorite. But don’t wait for your wedding day to surround yourself with flowers ... treat yourself now! Aromatherapy experts remind us that the scent of the rose is relaxing—a perfect choice as a fragrant bouquet or single bloom to keep at your desk or in your bedroom. Enjoy and breathe deeply....

 As a bride, you step into your own goddess legend—so start practicing how to keep your heart open and full of love. Try this "rose relaxation" now:
As you take three deep, slow breaths—allowing your breath to gently move your chest up and down, following its flow in and out—relax your shoulders...soften your eyes...let go of where you're holding any tension...continue to breathe deeply...and imagine your heart opening...opening. Then inhale the scent of roses (even it’s only in your imagination) and breathe in the soothing, heart-full fragrance of the love goddess....

Of course you can share your love goddess ways with your wedding guests and have roses all around...or use fresh rose petals lining the aisle or for your guests to toss as happy wishes. I love this "wedding rose" story from Barbara Tober, former editor-in-chief of Bride’s magazine: “One couple left their ceremony under a shower of petals from all the roses he had sent her during their courtship, lovingly saved.”  (If you save rose petals for tossing, you could spritz them the day of your wedding with rosewater and re-live the love all over again!)

But just remember...the beauty secret of the Goddess of Love is that she keeps her heart open....

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia  

ps: stay in touch for more in this special series on "aromatherapy, brides, and weddings"....

[Photograph: Marianne Taylor, UK]

December 1, 2010

{The Fragrance of Love}


Dear Bride-to-Be:
Aromatherapy experts tell us there is a keen relationship between memory and the sense of smell. So thoughtfully choose the fragrance that you wear on your wedding day as well as the scent of flowers in your bouquet. This could be the scent that always brings back your remembrance of this special day.

And here's an idea for your wedding...set-in a wonderful memory: Before you begin to walk down the aisle, pause. And the moment you see your husband-to-be standing at the other end waiting for you, breathe in a slow, easy breath and let the scent of your bouquet flowers take you deep into your heart...anchoring in the fragrance of love.

Practice now: Take several deeeep, slow inhales with long, relaxing exhales until you feel your heart open. Don't rush....enjoy breathing in and out of your heart and find the sweetness there. Okay, you're ready!

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

ps: One of my favorite books about flowers continues to be the little Kate Greenaway version of Language of Flowers ...sharing the meaning of hundreds of blossoms. And to learn more about aromatherapy and how to use essential oils and fragrance, The Art of Aromatherapy is full of great ideas. Enjoy.

[Photograph: Marla Aufmuth]

November 24, 2010

{Soothing & Naturally Scented}

Dear Bride-to-Be: 
Do something soothing and fragrant and luxurious for yourself every day while planning your wedding. (I know you're busy, but you can do it! You're worth it.) It can be as simple as keeping aromatherapy candles on hand so you can light one or two and make whatever tasks you're doing -- cleaning house or writing thank you notes or looking at magazines -- a more pleasurable experience with natural fragrances "wafting" about! (It's amazing how something so simple can make such a difference in your well-being.)

Then, when you have some alone private time, take a relaxing bath with calming, fragrant essential oils and herbal bath salts. Light an aromatherapy candle in a favorite scent (or use an essential oil diffuser -- they're a dream!), then close your eyes and take deeeep, slow breaths while you enjoy wherever the soothing quiet takes you.

But you don't have time for a soaking bath and need to get energized fast? For a fragrant, quick pick-me-up anytime of day, spritz rosewater facial mist on your face for a revitalizing refreshment.

There you have it! You can go scent, soak, and spritz away and bring aromatherapy into your wedding planning time for moments of scented pleasure -- whether you need to relax or revitalize. (Plus, it's great practice for taking care of yourself "after the wedding" when you get back to "regular life"!)

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

ps: Stay tuned for more next week in the "brides, weddings, and aromatherapy" series.

[Photograph: April Groom]

November 17, 2010

{Aromatherapy, Your Heart & You}

Dear Bride-To-Be:
We all love flowers and natural fragrances. And weddings are a chance to surround ourselves with both. During this blog series highlighting “brides, weddings, and aromatherapy,” some of you have asked, “just what is aromatherapy?”

Like the heart of your relationship is love, the heart of aromatherapy is essential oils. Essential oils are the highly concentrated essences of aromatic plants such as flowers, fruits, herbs, seeds, woods, and roots. Aromatherapy is the art of using these oils to take care of your body, mind and spirit...even promoting healing.

And here is what’s so cool: Since smell goes directly into the olfactory of the brain, the body gets an immediate signal to respond to the charms of a scents’ character. For instance, a sniff of chamomile essential oil will have a relaxing effect; while a whiff of rosemary essential oil will enliven. As our bodies become more open and alive -- more sensitive to the pleasures of the world around us -- our hearts are more open to giving and receiving love.

So keep a supply of essential oils in your “wedding planning kit” to use to pamper and take care of all the parts of you! Because as you take care of yourself inside and out, you are nurturing your relationship inside and out as well.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

ps: In future posts, listen out for some deliciously pleasurable aromatic ideas for taking care of you from head to toe! (Missed past aromatherapy posts? Just scroll down and enjoy....)

[Photograph: Marianne Taylor, London]

November 10, 2010

{Being a Radiant Bride}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
“A naturally fragrant bride,” according to well-known aromatherapist Valerie Ann Worwood, “is one with inner calm and outer radiance, and one that uses aromatherapy and fragrance to enhance the whole bridal experience.” Author of Aromatherapy for the Soul, Valerie Ann knows a thing or two about various aromatic concoctions to pamper a busy bride into relaxed bliss! (You deserve it.)

It’s important to have some relaxing time to balance the bustling pace of wedding planning time. (In my experience of working with thousands and thousands of brides, a more relaxed bride is a more beautifully radiant bride!) So to soothe the soul of a busy bride, Valerie Ann offers this reminder: Your own bathtub can become a relaxing bridal spa. “One of the best ways to relax is in hot water. Water is comforting and soothing, as well as relaxing,” the aromatherapy expert says and offers a wonderful recipe for an Exotic Sensual Milk Bath:

•    Add one teaspoon Coconut milk and one teaspoon Coconut oil and two drops Ylang ylang or essential oil of your choice.  Mix together and add to your bath.

•    Then light a calming aromatherapy candle, perhaps listen to some meditative music, and sooooak in all the fragrant delights!

Ahhh...sounds like a simply delightful and easy way to refresh -- and be on your way to being a radiant bride! Enjoy....

Love. Listen. Let go....
...with love from Cornelia

ps: Mountain Rose Herbs is a wonderful source for your aromatherapy concoction supplies.
pps: This is the second in a series of “brides, weddings, and aromatherapy”...tune in next week for another new “fragrant” post!

[Photograph: Josie Miner]

November 3, 2010

{Fragrance & Brides}

Dear Bride-to-Be: We all love the subtle fragrances of flowers and the dreamy places their romantic scents seem to take us, yes? Today I’m beginning a series on “brides, weddings, and aromatherapy.” The posts will be full of tips and ideas for being the calm, beautiful, sensuous, and naturally fragrant bride you want to be!

Did you know that fragrance can affect your emotions? Since brides are in the middle of an emotional journey of life adjustment and decision making, inner growth and self-discovery, the right fragrance can help soothe the way to the wedding. Aromatherapists have long suggested using essential oils to treat stress, so what fragrance should a bride wear on her wedding day to feel beautiful and at ease?

“I would recommend citrus and white flowers,” says Eleanor Athens, a pioneer in the world of scents and essential oils. “Fresh citrus scents lower stress levels, and the aroma of tropical blossoms such as jasmine and ylang is both relaxing and euphoric; just how you want to feel on your wedding day.”

Mmmmm....euphoric and relaxing...what an irresistible combination! My friends at Mountain Rose Herbs can assist you with the purest of essential oils (nothing artificial for you!)...and taking some slow, thoughtful breaths deep into your heart will assist you in easing the stress of wedding planning.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

ps: More to come on fragrance and your wedding in my next post...every Wednesday!
pps: My book, The Bride's Ritual Guide: Look Inside To Find Yourself, has more ideas for using essential oils for your wedding...plus lots more tips for your inner & outer beauty! Do you have your copy yet? 

[Photograph: Laura Heffington]

October 27, 2010

{Champion One Another}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
I'm always looking for interesting relationship quotes and bits of advice to share in my writing. Here's something I thought you'd appreciate and could use...we all need reminders every now and then about opening our hearts just a wee bit more!

In his book, Nine Critical Mistakes Most Couples Make, Dr. David Hawkins, known as “The Relationship Doctor,” offers these ways that couples often misstep:
~ They talk sharply to one another.
~ They take one another for granted.
~ They make demands instead of requests.
~ They put each other down rather than offering praise.
~ They fail to get excited about each other's ideas.
~ They forget to champion one another.

So go be your partner's champion today! Be supportive, loving, forgiving, patient, attentive. And in the process, you will both win.... 

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Marla Aufmuth]

October 20, 2010

{Feeling Beautiful Down to Your Toes}

Dear Bride-To-Be:
As you may know, it’s a rather recent custom—in the world of costume history—for brides to have new dress for their wedding. I have a collection of old wedding photographs from the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries of brides wearing their “best dress,” usually a dark color (it was practical, appropriate for mourning, and perhaps the only fabric available!)

So to make their dark outfit more festive and “bridal,” some brides attached creame ribbon and lace and wax orange blossom rosettes to their skirt and wore fresh flowers or a crown of wax orange blossoms in their hair with some sort of veil attached. The veil seemed to declare, “I’m a bride!”

What are you wearing as part of your “bridal costume” that declares something really special for you—that just makes you tingle? Maybe it’s the gown itself—it makes you feel like a fairy princess; or perhaps family heirloom earrings that you admired as a little girl; or your great-grandmother’s handmade lace veil purchased on her “grand tour” of Europe; or possibly it’s just the giddiest pink pumps ever!
 
Whatever it is—wear it with joie de vie delight—feel beautiful down to your toes—and let it declare to the world not only “I’m a bride”—but especially “I’m a goddess!”


Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia


[Top Photograph: Collection of the Author;
Bottom Photograph: Jason Hudson]

October 13, 2010

{The Lingering Pleasure of a Pause}


Dear Bride-to-Be:
The words you speak during your wedding ceremony have a depth and power to them . . . choose them well, then speak them from your heart.

Here’s a tip. Borrow a technique from seasoned public speakers: the intentional pause. And here’s a way to practice: Take some deep, easy breaths then slowly (and out loud), read a favorite love poem or some other passage you really like—either to yourself or to a friend—with a deliberate pause between each phrase. (Read like you’re sharing the words with your beloved.)

What did you notice? Was it easy or hard to slow down? Did you want to rush and fill the silence? Did you remember to breathe as you spoke?

Practice some more (and remember to take deep, slow breaths.) Find yourself—your heart—in the spaces as you read. Give the words space to breathe . . . and continue to find the grace in the pause. Did you feel more ease in your body? Life becomes sweeter when it’s a practice of what gently serves love instead of a rush to the finish line!

This will be great practice for your wedding day: to slow down and find the luscious spaces not only in your words, but also in your steps, your touch, and in your hugs and embraces. Enjoy the lingering pleasure of each moment, of each pause. (It’s okay to slow down. You will get to the wedding altar—or wherever your journey takes you—at the perfect moment.)

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Meg Smith]

October 6, 2010

{Complicated Roots}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
What rituals are you using for your wedding? Are they from family or religious traditions...or perhaps something you’ve read about or seen at another wedding? What do you know about the origin of these rituals and traditions?

My customers and audiences are always curious about the origin of wedding rituals—customs so familiar that we seldom give them a second thought during wedding festivities: tossing the garter, carrying a bouquet, exchanging rings, cutting the cake. We have accepted these traditions from the past into our modern celebrations, yet a bit of mystery remains. Most wedding rituals used today are a custom “rooted in the potent mix of tradition and superstition,” states Barbara Tober, former editor-in-chief of Bride’s magazine, in her classic book The Bride: A Celebration.

Given the hazy origin of most wedding customs, tracing them becomes a bit of a puzzle. Cultures around the world participated in wedding ceremonies in ways unique to their tribe or region or religion. These rituals and customs then took a meandering path through the centuries, being adapted and altered by new generations. To borrow a phrase from Carol McD. Wallace in her book All Dressed in White, wedding traditions have “complicated roots.”

I find that couples who learn about the rituals they plan to use for their wedding become more deeply related to their ceremony ahead...as well as learn more about each other! Let me know what you’ve learned or if you have any questions...I’d love to hear from you! 

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: April Grooms]

September 29, 2010

{Paying Attention To Love}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
During the busyness of wedding planning, there are lots of things to pay attention to -- yes? Let me remind you of one more...but this one will make all the other tasks easier and simpler! Pay attention to how you are breathing -- your inhales and exhales. When we're busy and rushing about, we usually take short, fast, shallow breaths (which makes us more tired.) Taking deeper, slower inhales and longer, softer exhales will relax you on the spot! Try it right now...slow, easy, deep, relaxing breaths.

Here's a little secret: When you pay attention to your breathing, you are also paying attention to love. How does that work? As you pay more attention to your breaths -- slowing it all down and taking deeper, softer breaths -- you are more at ease...your mind becomes quieter as your body relaxes. And as you relax and let those noisy thoughts just drift by, the world around you becomes quieter and you get closer to the true feelings of your heart...you can feel what your heart is telling you. Listen in....

In the quiet and ease that comes with paying attention to your breathing, you are more available to express love and acceptance...and let more love in. Like magic. (And a little icing on the cake: When you realize how much better it feels to slow down and breatheeeeee, you also just might realize that you can accomplish more and take care of yourself better while you're doing it!)

Now isn't that worth paying attention to? Okay, deeeeeep breaths....

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Brian Wagner]

September 22, 2010

{A Wealth of Fertile Wishes}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Did you know that flowers, cakes, and children used as a part of wedding festivities through history were all originally symbolic of the desire for “fertility”? Many ancient customs came from the wish of the community for the couple to be blessed with children as well as an abundant and full life. Times have changed through the centuries, but a community’s “fertile” wishes of well-being and happiness remain universal.

How does your community express tradition? Even if your community’s ways are not how you do things now, there is still a way to include what’s at the heart of the matter—their love. And whether or not you use any rituals or traditions for your wedding (putting a coin in your shoe, cutting a big wedding cake, having a flower girl, tossing a bouquet, ecetera!) you will be just as married, just as capable to live an abundant life, and just as able to find ways to include your community’s well-wishes of love!

What could be more “fertile”...more beautiful?


Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Sarah Merians Photography]

September 15, 2010

{Be a Goddess for a Lifetime}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
The tradition of the white wedding gown is neither universal, nor is it very old. Queen Victoria of England, at her wedding in 1840, was not the first bride to wear white, but her grand influence set the “bridal white” fashion in motion . . . and the rest is history.

Wearing white has always had a ceremonial and regal quality—for whatever occasion—taking on a kind of radiance. In my costume history research exploring goddess mythology, I find a heritage of shimmering white gowns worn by ancient luminous deities who embodied the female essence of beauty, strength, and love. Goddesses all! Perhaps then, as a bride, you are indeed the “epiphany of the goddess.” Hmmm . . . try that on for a moment. (Take a long, slow breath deep into your body and just imagine how it would feel to be a Goddess.) Then allow that goddess awareness to draw you closer to your own feminine nature and breathe in its soulful beauty.

Just know that whatever you wear for your wedding—a white gown, a colorful kimono, or a pair of jeans—you carry something of the goddess spirit with you! Your ritual costume wraps you in a bit of “royal lineage” that now simply becomes a part of who you are. As I’ve told brides for years, Don’t settle for being a “princess for a day”—be a “goddess for a lifetime.”

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Kristin Spencer]

September 8, 2010

{A Gift for Your Heart}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
I just finished a lovely series of book signing and speaking events. I shared with guests stories and ideas from my new book, The Bride's Ritual Guide: Look Inside to Find Yourself—and was delighted that many folks not only bought the book as gifts for friends and family, but also “felt” the intimacy of its message.

In the book, I invite readers to come go on an exploration with me. It’s a journey that taps into the ancient wisdom and magic of the past where you uncover some of the mysteries of your bridal rite-of-passage. As you take a few calming deep breaths, the journey gently spirals inward—like a long soothing sigh—into a quiet still space where you feel more peaceful and present. Here you are invited to “look inside to find yourself” … and there, with eyes open wide, you get a glimpse of your heart’s desire.

Now who could ask for anything more while planning your wedding? Whether it’s a book’s message or a relaxing deep breathing exercise or a meditative practice to keep your heart open—give yourself a gift of tender loving care ... a gift for your heart.

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia 

[Photograph: Jason Hudson]

September 1, 2010

{Treasured Words}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Words have magic and power to them. Words that you and your partner consider for your wedding vows are treasured “borrowed wisdom.” You may choose sacred words from an old religious text or something from your ancient heritage, like the Cherokee Wedding Prayer or Celtic Blessings, or perhaps from literature, such as Shakespeare’s Sonnets. Whatever source you borrow from . . . the words are a gift. Even if you write your own vows, these are words that have resonated with other ageless lovers searching for that perfect expression of the heart.

As you speak the words of declaration at your wedding, don’t rush. Allow their energy and rhythm to flow deep inside you, feel them in your heart, moving you to a new place of love and commitment.

Here’s an idea for a bit of wedding ceremony practice: During the “busyness” of wedding planning, why don’t you and your partner choose favorite love poems to read to each other as a way to stay connected. Close your eyes if you’re the one listening; gently deepen your breathing; and as the words are spoken, see if you can feel them in your body. Practice until you can feel your heart open so you know the difference ... and then when those treasured words are spoken at your wedding, your heart will be ready!

Love. Listen. Let go.

...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: David Willems]

August 25, 2010

{Tying the Knot}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
As you're preparing for your wedding, you will hear and see lots of familiar "wedding expressions" in your daily routine that are actually rooted in the past. Like "tie the knot"....

You've probably heard some of the stories of its origin: how a couple would tie a rope or scarf in a ceremonial knot as a wedding ritual, symbolizing their connection and faith to each other. Perhaps you know of someone who has used a version of the ritual in their ceremony.

But did you know that the original ceremony -- from the ancient Celtic culture -- was a very intricate weaving that would entwine the couple's hands within the knot at the same time? This Celtic love knot pattern consists of complete loops that have neither a beginning nor an end. It was difficult to do and took a lot of practice by the couple, becoming like a meditative rehearsal for intimacy. The purpose was not only to create a "symbol" of the continuance of life and love, but was actually to help create or deepen an intimate bond between the couple.

Imagine doing this ceremony with your beloved: you are standing face to face; you feel the cording on your skin as it binds the two of you together; your hands become entwined; you are drawn even closer as you look into the eyes of your beloved, that intimate moment of looking into the "mirror of your soul" through another.

This is the purpose of all ancient wedding rituals: to create an intimacy of connection for the couple; to connect hearts for a lifetime. And the wisdom of the Celtic love knot ceremony takes it even deeper: entwining the heart of your relationship for inner-growth and self-discovery ... and the experience of practicing unending love together. Relationships don't always last, but the love that brings people together can indeed be everlasting with a little bit of practice.

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: April Groom]

August 18, 2010

{The Prickly Beloved}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
The old British sixpence coin became legendary when it was included in the 19th century bridal rhyme “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a sixpence for your shoe.” Before the fabled sixpence existed in the British Empire, coins minted in Scotland used the image of their national flower, the beloved thistle, as a symbol of honor. Then later the thistle joined other botanical images—roses, leeks, and shamrocks—in a garland on the back of the sixpence coin itself. 

I wouldn’t consider the picturesque thistle a romantic wildflower—full of prickly leaves and bristly stems. Author Laura Martin concurs in Wildflower Folklore: “Since the language of this plant is defiance and surliness, a young lady would probably not be pleased to see thistle in her bouquet from an admirer.”

However, beloved it is and a perfect aide memoire . . . a reminder right there on the back of your sixpence coin that it’s great to have people around who love us even on our “prickly” days!

Whatever flowers you use for your wedding, or whatever images appear on your bridal coin, be thankful for all the choices you have. And those times when you’re feeling a bit thistle-like (pretty to look at, but a tad prickly), at least blow loving “long-distance” kisses to your fans and let everyone know you’ll soon be back in full bloom!

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Bridal Photograph: Julie Mikos]

August 11, 2010

{Relaxation Response (sigh)}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Did you just sigh? I've noticed that when a woman becomes a bride, she sighs a lot.(Happy sighs, woeful sighs.) Being in love (sigh), having a looooong to-do list (sigh), finding the perfect dress (sigh).

Let's make better use of those sighs and turn them into intentional deep, long, soothing breaths. This way you can stay relaxed while engaging in your busy life and planning your wedding (sigh).

Breathing guru, Dennis Lewis, says in his wonderful book, Free Your Breath, Free Your Life, that "a long, slow exhalation turns on your 'relaxation response'." Hmmm. So how about a little practice right now?

Breathing through your nose, take a deeeeeep, slow inhale; and then allow your exhale to be even sloooooower and longer. Don't rush, enjoy the ease of letting go with each exhale ... like a long, luscious sigh. Continue this relaxation response whatever you're doing. Just pay attention to your breaths ... especially those longer, relaxing exhales (sigh). 

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Missy McLamb]

August 4, 2010

{Standing On Solid Ground}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Our fascination with shoes started long before designer labels or “Sex and the City.” Shoes—for obvious reasons—were first created for protective covering but then evolved into status symbols (sometimes rather foreboding ones) as well as objects of beauty and sexual allure.

Historians tell us that the symbolism of footwear in connection with marriage and luck dates back to antiquity. An old custom in China, tossing the bride’s red shoes from a roof, ensured the couple’s happiness; the ancient Inca Indians of Peru exchanged sandals to seal the marriage deal. In more recent history, perhaps when your grandparents or their parents married, couples rode away in a car with shoes tied onto the bumper as a sign that prosperity would follow them!

Whatever shoes you wear for your wedding—or even if you go barefoot—be sure that you’re “standing on solid ground” as far as your heart is concerned! Keep checking in with yourself while you are planning your wedding to be sure that your focus is on your relationship and that your attention hasn’t gotten lost in the busyness of wedding “things.” (Like what shoes look the best with your dress!)

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Kristin Spencer]

July 28, 2010

{Thank You!}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
There simply cannot be too many thank-yous spoken in the world. (Nor too many hearts full of love!) Many people assisted you in getting to your wedding day...keep the generosity and gratitude going. Say “thank you” to the first and last person you see today—and everyone in between—and really mean it.

Notice how it lights people up. In fact, make it your job to light people up today. “Thank you!” It feels great; in fact, you’re the one who just might get the biggest reward.

“Gratitude is what returns us to love,” writer Lisa Clapier reminds us, and love is abundantly endless. You won’t run out—just keep giving it away!

Have your wedding be remembered for the gifts everyone went home with—your love and gratitude.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia


[Photograph: Brian Wagner]

July 21, 2010

{Declare Your Own Value}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
History can be rather convoluted and, at times, not very attractive...including the history of weddings. For instance, the background of  “...and a sixpence for your shoe”—the ending of the innocent bridal rhyme representing wishes for wealth and happiness for the couple—is steeped in some rather harsh history. In some cultures, coins depicted a father “selling” his daughter to a future husband, and the use of shoes were seen as a symbol of man’s domination over women.

Some harsh history indeed. But the other side of humans and our history is how we can turn some things into positive and fulfilling symbols and rituals. So the meaning of a coin in your shoe for your wedding has the power that you give it—so give it a wealth of love and all the abundant energy you can muster!   

Today, a man and woman’s sense of  “wealth” includes riches of the heart and spirit—generating an abundant partnership and deep connection. We are blessed in modern culture to be able to declare our own value. You are an invaluable part of the divine plan—wear it well on your wedding day!

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Julie Mikos]

July 14, 2010

{Take Someone's Breath Away}


Dear Bride-to-Be:
Taking a deep, slow breath gives you pause; and in the space of that pause, you're more relaxed, more present, more likely to "respond" instead of "react." When you put attention on your breath, you're able to see both the "big picture" as well as the "details" in clearer focus; decision making becomes easier.

Are you noticing your breath as you are reading this? Put attention on your breath – take longer, deeper breaths and get more nourishing oxygen into your brain and body. Your breath brings ease into your tense muscles: your shoulders drop, your chest expands, your neck and jaw relax. You look softer.

And you just might take someone's breath away!

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Marla Aufmuth]

July 7, 2010

{A Grateful Heart}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Do you think that abundance is limited? That good fortune skips a day in your life? Wise spiritual guides tell us that what we might consider as lack of abundance or a misfortune is actually an opportunity to open our hearts even wider ... a reminder to be thankful for what we do have. Blessings come a’calling to a grateful heart!

Over two thousand years ago, the Roman philosopher Cicero said “a grateful heart is the greatest virtue.” We receive presents each day that we may not recognize as presents, but it seems that anytime we express appreciation for the experience we’ve been given—no matter what it is—then our hearts open that much more.

Keep your heart available for love in abundant proportions . . . and abundance is yours. Remember that it’s a generous dose of gratitude that returns you to the “fortunes” of love.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia


[Photograph: Sarah Merians Photography]

June 30, 2010

{Borrowing From the Past}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Wedding ceremonies “borrow” from the past—words, music, gestures—and when you participate in wedding rituals, you are “borrowing” wisdom from another time. As you tap into those ancient wisdoms, you are tapping into your own inner wisdom. That’s why when you’re going through these intimate rituals, it can all feel strangely natural and familiar . . . “Have I been here before?” It’s not the ritual itself; rituals are just a vehicle to take you into your heart center. What is familiar is you! The real you gets to emerge. (Ahhhh. The magic process of the rite-of-passage.)

The most memorable of wedding ceremonies draws the best from the past yet makes it beautifully present. Therefore, whatever you “borrow” to create your wedding, stir it up with your own inspired magic so it comes from your heart! Bringing it from the past, giving it your presence.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Jason Hudson Photography]

June 23, 2010

{Feminine Through & Through}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
You don't have to wait for your wedding day to indulge in pampering yourself with a host of fem-fem treats—like a relaxing massage or lavender bubble bath or gathering with girlfriends. You can feel feminine through and through by breathing in some of that lavender-scented, womanly magic right now!

Do this little exercise: Close your eyes; take a couple of deep, slow, soothing breaths (inhaling and exhaling through your nose, if possible, for even more relaxation.) Now, visualize a time you felt feminine through and through—take your time until you feel that lushness in every cell of your body—then breathe in that strength, beauty, and confidence. Deeply, truly, lovingly. It's always there, always available for you to claim.

Relax and breathe it in.

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Jason Hudson]

June 16, 2010

{This Is Your Moment}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
As many years as the “something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a sixpence for your shoe” bridal rhyme has been touching women’s lives, there are that many interpretations of its meaning, each offering suggestions for a fulfilling and happy life.

For my book, The Bride's Ritual Guide: Look Inside to Find Yourself -- and as a gift to the modern bride -- I’ve interwoven intuitive twists and insights for a more personal interpretation of this charming “something old” rhyme. (Do you have your copy of The Bride's Ritual Guide book yet?) Taking the rhyme’s simplicity, I wrapped it with the intimacy of a woman’s language as a way to move you deep into the heart of your bridal rite-of-passage.

Yes, this is your bridal rite-of-passage...not just a time in your life to plan your wedding! It is your moment to look inside to find yourself...and meet the real you...be surprised and delighted...make a few adjustments, tenderly...and love what you find. Yes, other moments of self-discovery are always available to you...but here's an opportunity like no other. Don't miss this moment...the magic of this rite-of-passage...the magic of you.

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Julie Mikos]

June 9, 2010

{Take A Deep Breath First!}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Weddings are like a microcosmic slice of real life magnified ... and when planning a wedding, things seem to speed up in the busyness of coordinating and organizing. So do you want a quick way to relax and refresh? You want "time" itself to slow down? Then take a deep breath first!

Try it. Right before you make a decision, or begin a meeting, or when you're feeling overwhelmed, or an upset is bubbling up, or you feel just a little weary: Take a slow, deep breath (an easy, soft inhale and a long, slow exhale) and see the difference it makes in the outcome. It's simple but very effective. Take a deep breath first...then followed by another and another. (Slow your breaths and time slows down. Deepen your breaths and reach a deeper part of you.)

Take care of you first, then there is more of you available to love on others! A beautiful bride takes a deep breath first so her I love yous come from deep inside.

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Missy McLamb Photographers]

June 2, 2010

{A Rich Life}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
In the old-world custom of a woman’s dowry (the wealth she brought to the marriage from her family) lies the tradition of the bridal sixpence coin. Silver or gold coins would have been included in the bride’s dowry along with livestock, land, and household goods. Therefore, putting a coin into the bride’s shoe—originally done by her father in most areas of the world—symbolized transferring a share of her family's wealth to the groom to ensure a prosperous life for his new family.

Of course brides in modern Western culture have a very different outlook and bring independent ownership into a marriage. But in the sense of “inner wealth,” what symbolizes a “rich” life to you? What do you bring to your relationship that offers an abundant spirit? Is part of your “dowry” a generous helping of lightheartedness? Does your “wealth of independence” include an open heart ready to love and forgive, forgive and love, then do it all over again?

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Kristin Spencer]

May 27, 2010

{Smile, Breathe and Go Slowly}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
I think these words by Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh, “smile, breathe, and go slowly,” become a perfect mantra to use while planning your wedding. (And perfect words to live by at any time!)

Wedding planning time is a busy-busy time, yes? And if you tend to start multi-tasking and your actions get on speed-dial, your breathing becomes shallow, and you get wound really tight! And when you’re tense and speeding around, you’re usually “in your head.” And when you’re inside your noisy thoughts, you’re not present—nor are you inside your heart. And when you’re not thinking from your heart, you’re not fully connected to your relationships. YIKES!

Slow down, take a deep breath, and smile.

Smiling helps release tension and brings you back to yourself. Smiling relaxes the body, slows down your breaths, quiets your thoughts, radiates warmth and connection, and creates the world anew. It’s hard to be angry or jealous or bent out of shape with a big smile on your face.

The wise Thich Nhat Hanh also said: “Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful.” So…smile, Girl, smile! And be a beautiful, relaxed bride…with a more beautiful life ahead.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Marla Aufmuth]

May 20, 2010

{Lit From Within}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Are you still busy looking for the “perfect” wedding dress? Or have you found the gown that simply calls your name . . . that you feel beautiful in inside and out?

No matter what stage you're in with your wedding activities, remember that “a wedding gown does not a bride make”! I’ve worked with brides of all ages—from seventeen to eighty-seven, from first marriage to more than three—and every bride in love is lit with a “fairy tale quality” no matter what she was wearing. Being loved and being in love does that: lights you up from within, surrounds you with blessings, raises you above the mundane.

So it's not a beautiful gown that makes a woman a beautiful bride. That glow of beauty comes from wearing her love like a warm, generous embrace. . . and sharing it with everyone along the way.

What do you need to put into place in your life right now so you don’t lose—or at least so you can recapture—that “lit from within” feeling after the wedding . . . when life settles down and becomes “normal” again? What do you call on at those times when love doesn't feel so special . . . when you don't feel beautiful in whatever you are wearing?

Look inside yourself to find your light, your magic. . . that place where love resides. Then breathe that light in so you become familiar with how being present to your “inner light” feels. Make it a practice so you can return to that essence at any time—especially when life feels more like a fractured fairy tale than that falling in love lightness! And remember, even at those stressful times, your inner light is always available to call on . . . just look inside and fall in love with yourself and the whole wide world over and over again.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Missy McLamb Photography Studio]

May 13, 2010

{Leaving Blessings in Her Wake}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Wearing a gown with a train has such a fairy tale quality. I enjoyed watching brides-to-be trying on gowns in my former shop as they twirled and turned in front of the mirror, craning their necks like some exotic bird attempting to see how their train magically draped and “puddled” behind them.

During this “mirror ritual,” I shared a pretty notion with each bride, embellishing a quote from former editor-in-chief of Bride’s magazine, Barbara Tober: The train of the gown is an extension of the presence of the bride . . . on her wedding day she moves amongst her friends and family, leaving blessings in her wake.

(Close your eyes and slowly breathe that lovely image deep into your heart.)

Weddings offer many opportunities to leave loving blessings trailing behind your bright aura! How do you intend to make your wedding a ritual of love for everyone present?

Love. Listen. Let go....
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: David Willems]

May 10, 2010

{Ribbons & Favours & Blessings}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Did you know that brides and grooms are thought to be “blessed” on their wedding day? This is a belief with origins in ancient superstitions, so for wedding guests to be “favoured” by the bride and groom with a token or charm was a blessing indeed!

British wedding historian Ann Monsarrat tells of an aristocratic wedding in the sixteenth century when ribbons of the bride’s gown were cut in little pieces and given out to guests for good luck tokens. A custom that followed (to protect the bride's outfit as well as to provide souvenirs) was for friends of the bride to assemble pretty little “knots of ribbon”—in the bride’s chosen colors or perhaps in the colors of the family crest—as “favours” for the wedding guests. It became a sign of status and honor for the guests to wear the charming bouquet of knotted ribbons on their arm or tucked into their hats after the wedding event.

Also, through the centuries and in many cultures, the groom and his attendants wore fanciful ribbon and flower “favours” in their jacket’s buttonhole. Later these were simply called buttonholes or boutonnieres.

Don’t you love hearing origin stories of wedding celebrations to see how customs or rituals that you might take for granted were created? Most customs were created in a very different time and place, but can still hold something dear for your wedding at this moment. Sharing “favours” from the heart is a blessing that's always in fashion!

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: circa 1910 image—note groom's elaborate “favour”—courtesy of the Goldstein Museum of Design]

May 3, 2010

{Wedding Rules or Choices?}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Are you giving wedding favours to your guests? It's always a lovely gesture, but do remember: like so many ideas used for wedding ceremonies that became a custom over the years—it’s not a “rule.”

It helps to know that you are at choice in the matter regarding your wedding. Learn about old customs and new ideas, and then choose for yourself. What wedding traditions or rituals truly express you—your spirit and your budget?

The giving of favours has its roots in ancient superstitious cultures as tokens of good luck, but wedding favours became popular again in modern times only in the last couple of decades when weddings became big business. So don’t get lost in the business of weddings; make choices from your heart!

And remember, after the wedding, you’re just as married whether you gave favours or not to your wedding guests! A heart-felt “thank you”—with an embrace, or kiss on the cheek, or hand shake—can be the best gift of all.

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

ps: I love to share origin myths for wedding customs and rituals so you can enjoy the stories of history, then choose for yourself what ideas and traditions serve you! So stay tuned for my next LETTERS TO A BRIDE blog post for some intriguing stories about those wedding favours!)

[Photograph: Jason Hudson]

April 30, 2010

{Planet Wedding}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
I thought you'd like to know about a new book, "Planet Wedding:  A Nuptialpedia" by that fabulous "planet" book couple, Sandra and Harry Choron. It's chock-full of ideas and interesting stories about all things wedding -- including one of my stories!

I'm delighted they chose one of my folkloric botanical related stories, "To Gather Orange Blossoms: The Legend of Brides & the Orange Blossom," because I love the connection of brides and flowers. Something magical and mysterious and ultimately feminine about how women and flowers have a deep spiritual connection.

And the book is not just for brides...you and your friends and family will enjoy long after the wedding. Click here to review or order the book.

Enjoy!

....with love from Cornelia

April 27, 2010

{Your Bridal Spotlight}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Being a conscious bride takes courage. You step into a spotlight when you become a bride, emotions bubble up during this busy time, perhaps self-doubt creeps in. However, it’s the design of a rite-of-passage to shake you up a bit, to prepare you for a huge leap of faith. This may be unsettling at first, yet it is the nature of change . . . to inspire an inner awakening, to prepare you for receiving life as a gift!

Use your time in the bridal spotlight -- and the special, intuitive energy of your bridal rite-of-passage -- to find your quiet center and ground yourself. Have a gentle, meditative stretching routine of some sort that helps relax your body and supports your inner peacefulness. From that more settled aware place, your mind gets quieter; your emotions won’t be so apt to bubble over; you become less reactive, more responsive, more creative, more conscious . . . more available for love.

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Marla Aufmuth]

April 23, 2010

{Keep Your Heart Open}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Feeling a little overwhelmed with your growing to-do list? Feeling like your attention is constantly being pulled away from your relationship? Feeling like you’re losing your sense of self -- with your strength and usual savvy diminishing? Not feeling clear and empowered to make all the “right” decisions?

Here’s a suggestion: Close your eyes; take deep, slow inhales and exhales; imagine your breath going in and out of your heart; continue these luscious, slow, deep inhales and exhales until you “feel” your heart open. Keep practicing and keep your heart open in the direction of love! Then no matter the circumstances stirring about, when your heart is open, you’ll always know where your real strength and power live.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: David Willems]

April 20, 2010

{The Sapphire Mythology}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
For their wedding day “something blue,” some brides wear a special sapphire ring or pin or amulet. Sapphires have a great deal of ethereal meaning in the world of gemstones. Queen Victoria wore a large sapphire brooch, a gift from her beloved Albert, pinned to her white silk satin gown the day they married. As a teenage bride-to-be, Lady Diana Spencer chose a sapphire and diamond engagement ring from the selection offered her by Prince Charles and the royal family.

The blue sapphire is considered the stone of “holy blessings” and has long symbolized truth, sincerity, and faithfulness. A precious gemstone may not be able to guarantee the love we want, but “holy blessings” come in all shapes and sizes and disguises! Whatever gemstone you wear, it’s more of a treasure when you add self-love—a blessing that keeps sharing riches of the heart.

The sapphire mythology also holds that the stone oversees one’s divine destiny. What do you see as your destiny? If it is indeed “divine”—and I believe that’s true for all of us—then love is at its core, and all you need to do is keep your heart open to receive its “holy blessings.”

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

April 16, 2010

{What Are You Noticing?}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Did you know that when you became engaged -- no matter your age or if you've been a bride before -- that you stepped into an ancient process known as a rite-of-passage? A rite-of-passage is a ritual event that marks a person's progress from one stage of life to another.

And your bridal rite-of-passage -- when you are aware of its magic and inner power -- becomes a journey of self-discovery with a natural flow and rhythm to it. Becoming/being aware is key: What changes are you noticing, feeling, sensing about yourself? It can be subtle, so keep your antenna -- your woman's intuition -- finely tuned. 

In your bridal rite-of-passage, when you “get in the zone” of its vibrant energy, the experience can deeply support your inner growth, helping you discover your true strength and power -- so pay attention.

What are you noticing right now?

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Missy McLamb]

April 13, 2010

{Love What You Choose}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
There are so many choices to make when you’re a bride-to-be, but good news! A woman’s intuition seems to light up as a bride. That’s just part of the mystical nature of a rite-of-passage. (And why so many brides find the dress during their first round of shopping!) The more aware you are, the more you can tap into your inner resources where your intuitive “wise self” lives. So don’t resist . . . enjoy the ease that comes with following your “inner wise-woman.”

Your time as a bride-to-be becomes a perfect opportunity to listen to that instinctive wisdom inside you, allowing it to guide your choices—foregoing doubt and second-guessing. (I read something like this on a greeting card: Worrying about the past or the future just saps today of its magic!)

Here’s what your wise inner voice is telling you when it comes to making a choice: Choose from your heart’s desire, then love what you choose. Move on to the next decision, and choose . . . then love that. You get the picture. Choose it, love it, move on! Let the love flow.

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Marla Aufmuth]

April 9, 2010

{Regal Spirit}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Have you selected your wedding gown yet? Are you wearing a tiara or special headpiece in your  hair? When you’re all dressed up in your bridal costume, do you feel like a beautiful goddess...or a regal princess...or something out of a fairy tale...or simply deliciously feminine through ’n through...or perhaps strangely “not you”...?

My friend Adele Azar-Rucquoi, who wore no wedding gown nor crown but a white silky blouse and flowing pants with a wide-brim straw hat, was a joyful bride at fifty-nine and the essence of the regalness of spirit. Walking down the aisle toward her beloved, she shares this remembrance in her book for women, Money as Sacrament: “One by one I made eye contact with my friends, grinning until my face hurt. Never have I seen them from so regal a place!”

Perhaps it’s not what you wear on your wedding day but how you wear it. So wear it well, you beautiful Goddess Bride! Allow yourself to feel your regal femininity down to your toes, taking pleasure in your unique feminine ways of being compassionate, kind, and strong. And remember, a Goddess Bride always keeps her heart open.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Courtesy of the University of South Alabama Library]

April 5, 2010

{Deep Breathing}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Give yourself the gift of relaxation during everyday moments. While looking at bridal magazines, wrapping presents, or writing thank-you notes: pay attention to your breathing. Slow down and begin inhaling and exhaling with a soft, deep, languid rhythm. Breathing guru Dennis Lewis reminds us: “Sense the natural pause after exhalation; let yourself rest there for a moment.” Pause more in whatever you are doing and notice the difference it makes . . . you’ll begin to feel more settled, more centered, more you.

To deepen the relaxation even more, play soothing music in the background or use headphones for more intimacy when you’re doing these kinds of solitary tasks. Then in addition to accomplishing stuff, it becomes a relaxing, meditative time to boot!

Slow down; take deep, easy breaths; relax and feel your heart-center; and enjoy this special time even more....

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Julie Mikos]

April 1, 2010

{Your Womanly Heritage}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
What if planning a wedding introduced you to a dazzling and perhaps unknown womanly heritage?

Part of the joys of a bride’s rite-of-passage is to be able to connect with her heritage of being a woman. Whatever your relationship with the women in your world—family, friends, work associates—now is the time to open your heart, clean up old wounds, request support, and allow their contributions in. Invite their womanly wisdom into your world.

What if planning your wedding became a practice for building a community of love and support for the rest of your life?

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Courtesy of Lisa & Harvey Tipler]

March 29, 2010

{Express Your Beautiful Self!}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
In Ayurvedic wisdom (the ancient healing system from India) the color blue is linked with the throat chakra—or energy center—and inspires balance in our true self-expression. Hmmmmm. Did you ever think that wearing your bridal “something blue” could support you in being more articulate and eloquent?

If that’s the case, then being a bride is a perfect time for a powerful declaration of clarity: “I freely express my thoughts and feelings. I always communicate clearly and effectively.” With clarity comes a stronger sense of purpose. Where in your wedding planning world to do you need to get clear on exactly what you want? Who do you need to talk to in order to clear up some fuzzy communication?

Slow down and take a deeeeep slow breath, then another...and find your true voice. Honor your word; speak your truth; live your purpose; inspire eloquence. Then as though “out of the blue” you are living the life you love!

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Jimmy Clemmons]